Tianshu Zhang, “ The sounds of the late night turn into illogical music in my mind”, 2023, Oil on canvas, 48inX60in

Tianshu Zhang, “ Looking into the blue”, 2022, Oil on canvas, 32inX36in

Tianshu Zhang, “ Untitled”, 2023, Oil on canvas, 24inX48in

Tianshu Zhang, “My love is a green lighthouse”, 2022, Oil on canvas, 40inX30in

Tianshu Zhang, “ Awakening”, 2022, Oil on canvas, 48inX36in

Tianshu Zhang, “Traveler”, 2023, Oil on canvas, 48inX48in

Tianshu Zhang, “ 5 O’clock”, 2022, Oil on canvas, 48inX60in

Tianshu Zhang, “ Red Moon”, 2022, Oil on canvas, 48inX60in

Tianshu Zhang, “ Awakening”, 2022, Oil on canvas

This project consists of nine oil paintings on canvas, inspired mainly by images I have collected from my life and my imagination. I straddle a nebulous boundary between abstraction and figuration, continuing my interest in depicting emotions and my inner world with these paintings. These paintings express my own response to the question, "How do we adopt the ephemerality of the world we live in?"

I was aware from a young age that we live in an ever-changing world. My childhood life experiences play an important role in my paintings. Born in China, I was adopted by a family member of mine in Texas at the age of 14 and left my parents in China. Since then, I have been moving from place to place and learning to live alone. The disconnection between my family and me during my early years resulted in my premature immersion into the complexities of social life, which made me more sensitive to capturing emotions and the subtle changes in things, and often caused me to lament the fleeting beauty of the world. I always think about how the environment affects us individually and how each of us responds to the ephemerality of our surroundings. Painting to me is a way to explore myself on a deeper level by delving inward during the process.

The project title, "If recollecting were forgetting," is a phrase from the poem "There is a certain slant of light" by Emily Dickinson. When I read it, I immediately decided to use it as the title for my series of works. The line "If recollecting were forgetting" suggests that memory itself can be a kind of forgetting or a way of coping with the impermanence of the world. In other words, by remembering things that have passed, we are also acknowledging their ephemerality and the fact that they are gone.

I always start my paintings with a rough sketch or a vague idea and let the painting lead me, slowly emerging from the canvas by itself. This intuitive process of working allows my paintings to honestly express my current state of emotions. In these paintings, the images present a dreamy and ethereal feeling, as if memories and imaginations are forming flowing light and shadow in the mind. I am drawn to cold colors such as blue, violet, and green, which evoke introspection and mystery. The interplay of light and shadow amplifies the emotion and atmosphere, while figures blend into the background like a reminiscence passing through a scene.

Sky and space are major elements of these works. For me, the mysteries of space can also reflect the unknowns of the human mind and life. They convey a sense of vastness and infinity, which hopefully evoke feelings of awe and contemplation in the viewer.

Through this project, I hope to deliver my emotions to the audience, to give shape and form to the ephemeral aspects of human experience, such as bodily sensations and intangible energies, which would otherwise remain elusive. My paintings reflect my experiences and emotions, and I invite the viewer to take a journey with me through the ephemerality of life.